Thursday, September 16, 2010

All We Need is a Little Patience...

So today I decided to run to the grocery store during my 3 hours of free time between homeschool and afternoon activities. I was also trying to fit in a workout class so I was on a tight schedule. At the checkout line I found myself behind a customer who had a very complicated order and had divided their complicated order into 3 separate transactions. Of course I didn't realize this fact until after I had unloaded my whole cart of groceries onto the conveyor. My first reaction was one of fury, anger and self pity. How could I be so unlucky as to run into the one lane with problems? I only have a little bit of time and this is what I get? Then, I stopped myself. What good was my negativity going to do? Was it going to change the situation? No, all it was going to do was feed my anger and resentment of the person in front of me. So I stopped and took a new approach. Now, please understand this is not my usual format. I don't even know what prompted me to stop. Perhaps it all those Oprah episodes on being a better person that had infiltrated my subconscious. Who knows?

Whatever the reason for the change, I found myself wondering why I was in this position. Not in a negative way, more in a moment of curiosity, searching for a "greater meaning". With all that has happened in my life over the years, I have adapted an "everything happens for a reason" mentality. So why not this situation? I mean I have been super busy running around bringing kids to school, activities, and teaching Bella. Was this meant to be a break? Maybe a built in time for self reflection? A moment to breathe? I was locked in line with few choices. Ultimately I could have just left all the groceries and told someone I could no longer wait. It had already been 15 minutes waiting behind the man, and few people would have blamed me for this decision. The truth was I really didn't have to leave. Sure I was trying to make a class at the gym, but bottom line was that if I finished my checkout in the next 10 minutes, I would still make it in time for the class. So there I stood. Breathing in large, deep breaths to relax.

The ending of the story? I did make it to the gym on time. Patience is not my strong suit and slowing down and just "being" is outside of my comfort zone. So for 20 minutes I was forced to take a minute and "just be" even though it felt awkward and a little like having my hands and feet bound with ropes. Perhaps it was just what I needed at the time...

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