And it Burns, Burns, Burns, the Ring of Fire...

Last Saturday I attended a cochlear implant seminar to be a resource and answer questions for people who were considering getting an implant. As a parent of a child with cochlear implants, I enjoy helping others out in sorting through this difficult decision. I can only speak from Bella's experience, but I am happy to share how life changing the implant has been for her, and for us. Here is the group helping out at the seminar.

I was reminded by another advocate at the seminar about I story I had shared many years ago. She said it always made her laugh, so I thought I would share it here.

Before Bella got her implants, we did a lot of research about them. How they worked, the chances of them being successful for her, and also the risks. During this research, I came across a site that had simulations of what cochlear implants sounded like to a recipient. I remember listening and thinking that although it sounded very electronic and sort of like listening under water, I was happy that Bella would be able to hear speech.

Then I clicked on the most alarming cochlear implant simulation. It was supposed to be how a cochlear implant recipient hears music. They used the Johnny Cash song, "Ring of Fire." Here is the simulation http://www.hei.org/research/shannon/aip/ringdemo.mp3
After listening to the simulation I was horrified. I was convinced that Bella would never enjoy music. I thought the song sounded like the devil singing. It made me sad for Bella.


As Bella got her implants and developed a love of music, I began to question about how accurately the simulation portrayed music. I wrote it off as scary and not at all how music sounded to cochlear implant recipients.


Then one day, Bella and I were in a hair salon. Bella was about 5 or 6 years old. I was busy reading a magazine when Bella came up to me looking a bit unnerved. I asked her what was wrong and she said she didn't like the song that was playing. I had to listen for a minute and then I noticed...the song was "Ring of Fire." So I decided that all music doesn't sound bad with a cochlear implant, just Johnny Cash...

My Way...

I am not sure if this happens to other parents of special needs kids or not. Perhaps some. For me when standardized test results come in the mail, I get the same feeling as when I am at the top of a roller coaster hill about to head straight down at great speed. Yesterday, I went for a ride...

Last week I came across this quote by the great Albert Einstein.

I must say that it made me pause and question how I view Bella's accomplishments and success. There are so many things that she is great at. She is super crafty, outgoing, and always willing to try new things. Her ability, to make easily make new friends, is a gift that a lot of people envy. So many kids are judged harshly on areas that are never going to be strengths.

While I understand that standardized testing is necessary in schools, I think it is important to realize it is only a small piece of who a child is. Whether the scores are high or low, it should not define the child or their view of themselves.

Nor should it define the parent...

Upside Down...

Life has felt a little strange lately. Just enough to throw off my center of balance. To start, it has been 80 degrees or above for the past week, here in MN. I'm not complaining, in fact it could stay like this forever and I'd be happy. It's just that it is a bit unnerving. When I put out the fall mums and the Halloween decorations last weekend, I was SWEATING. That doesn't usually happen in October.

Now mix in the miserable state of sports in the state of Minnesota. The Twins were terrible this year, the Gophers are in a fog of despair, and the Vikings...Well I think someone forgot to tell them that the pre-season is over. But here's where it gets really strange. This week the big talk of the town was the WNBA team for Minnesota, the Lynx. They won their first championship. The local sports stations couldn't get enough of the story. Casual sports fans and die hard fans alike were tweeting and posting on their facebook statuses, support for the Lynx. I really doubt most of these people knew the name of this team last week, or even that they existed!

Harry's football team has also been suffering. Yesterday they went into their game with a record of 0-5. It's pretty sad to watch a bunch of 7th graders have to face defeat, week after week. Luckily, yesterday they all came together as a team and beat Edina. Parents couldn't have been prouder! We clapped when they were on the field, we clapped as they came off the field.

In order to restore some balance to our lives, we visited Bennihana for dinner last night. It is always a favorite of mine and when things are askew in my life, I seek comfort in returning to basics. It was a fun evening, but not perfect, because some of our family was missing. After the big football game, Harry decided not to come and hang out at home instead.  Some of you may remember that last year we went to Bennihana near the beginning of the school year last week to celebrate transition and change. http://rowefamilyadventures.blogspot.com/2010/09/were-going-to-rock-around-clock-tonight.html. Turmoil and chaos emerged after that last visit, so I can only hope that this year, with all the current issues we are facing, the opposite effect will occur. Balance and peace will return to the Rowe household.

It appears the weather will turn a bit colder here this week and the WNBA talk is dying down. Fingers crossed that normalcy will make a comeback this week...

And We Were Trying Different Things...

Pushing outside of one's comfort zone can be tough. Trying new things or visiting new places can produce feelings of insecurity and fear. Yet, as we discovered this past weekend, the feeling of accomplishment after you try new things, is worth the risk, most of the time...

First "new things" of the weekend came in Harry's football game. We traveled to Shakopee for a first time  match up between the Purple Chaska Hawks and the Shakopee team. The game had many ups and downs, with more ups for the Shakopee team. The highlight for us? Well, I hate to brag, but Harry was a standout in the game. With 5 sacks and 1 rushing touchdown, Erick and I were very proud!

Next up, Bella. On Saturday afternoon, following closely behind Harry's game, came Bella's first official swim meet. It was a C/Pre-C meet. Bella's events were the 50 Freestyle and the 50 backstroke. The first piece of great news was that she didn't DQ. A lot of swimmers DQ at first, but luckily Bella didn't. She's never been timed on the 50 back so her time was fresh at 1:31.59. On the 50 free she's had unofficial times when attending the practice meets in the past. In May of 2011 she raced the 50 free at the practice meet and her time was 1:58.35. On Saturday her time was 1:30.58. She shaved 28 seconds off of her time!!! Here we are together at the meet.

You might notice I am in an interesting orange/yellow vest. No, it's not a new fashion statement. I also tried something new at the meet. I volunteered to do security at the pool door. For those of you who are unaware, parents are not allowed on the pool deck. I worked with some other women to keep the "helicopter parents" from getting to their children. Parents are supposed to sit up in the bleachers and watch. Yet some couldn't stop themselves from coming down and checking on their kids. It was interesting to say the least.

After the swim meet, Erick and I went out for our own first. We always like to try new places to eat and one place we had always been curious about was the Mystic Lake Casino Buffet. I have had more than one person say how good it was. Well, we went and...it was pretty ordinary. I didn't think the selection was that great. Maybe I've just been to some really great buffets in my life, who knows?

Then on Sunday it was off to another first for the family. We always go to an apple orchard in the fall as a family, but this year we tried a new place, Fall Harvest Orchard. Unfortunately, Erick was traveling and Becca had a lot of homework so we weren't all together as a family. Fall Harvest Orchard  was AMAZING. I will say that finding it was a bit of a challenge. My trusty GPS did not know this fabulous place existed, but luckily I printed out directions from the website as well. The orchard was so interactive, compared to most. It was a working farm in addition to the orchard so there was lots to do and see. And the people who owned it were so great! You could tell they were really interested in providing a fun time for families. They let kids get eggs from the chickens, they handed out FREE food to feed the goats. They explained about different crops they were raising, including soybeans, and flax. They handed out examples of the plants to show people what they looked like and so people could eat them. Before the hayride was over, everyone got to get out and pick some popcorn and also a small gourd to bring home. We have to let the popcorn cobs dry out until Thanksgiving. Before the day was done, there was fun had by feeding apples to cows, eating fresh popcorn from the harvest last year, and rolling in a corn pit. Below are the pictures.

Next weekend, another "first" for us. We are going to go look at colorful fall leaves from a chairlift. Stay tuned!

If I Could Turn Back Time...

This past week dealt a lot with life in the past. Bella had her first field trip last Thursday and I came along as a chaperone. Her class and the other upper elementary classes went to a park in Lillydale that is known for having many fossils to find. I had never been there and I had a somewhat warped view of what it would be like. I pictured a park (grassy field maybe) with a section of rocks along the shores of a river where kids would sort through and find fossils. Reality was a bit more challanging. It was basically a huge park where you HIKED to find fossils. There were lots of hills including one so steep that kids had to dig their feet in to prevent sliding down, while they reached down and searched in the sand like rock for fossils. I will say there were a ton of fossils for kids to find. Mostly ancient coral and some plant stems.

It was fun spending time getting to see the dynamics of Bella's new class. She is still getting used to the new class, the new teacher and making new friends. She does know a few of the classmates from last year. Still, there is always an adjustment both for Bella and the class to understand how Bella is different with only attending half day and also having cochlear implants. I don't have many worries. Bella thrives on being social.

Adjustment at homeschool to the new year might be more of an issue. This summer we did work on some things, but Bella fought me a lot, saying, "It's summer vacation, Mom." Still I did get some math and reading in. She promised she would stop fighting me when Fall came and we returned to the regular schedule. I had my doubts. Now I am seeing those doubts were justified. Bella at age 9 1/2 is starting to exhibit some pre-teen behaviors of rebellion. No longer does she listen to what I want and comply without question. She is constantly negotiating and challenging me, especially on things she doesn't like to do. So Math has become a daily battle. She is well aware that math is hard for her and takes much more concentration and focus that she is willing to give. I have tried all avenues to get her back on track: yelling, pleading, bribing, and reasoning. I bought a book that talked about how somethings are hard, but if you keep pushing through it gets easier and you feel like you really achieved something by sticking with it. Bottom line message, "You can't give up even when things are hard." I had wondered if she had heard me, until yesterday. Things have become so hard with Bella and school, that I have seriously contemplated putting her in another setting. A traditional school with special ed support or all day at her current school with a special curriculumn. Bella said she wants to keep things like they are now. I told her I'm not sure we can do that because I don't want to fight her every day to do her work. And how does she respond? "Mom, just because things get hard, you can't just quit." So Rowe Academy continues, for now...

Last weekend, I really needed a fun day. Due to all the battles with Bella, in addition to various other incidents with the other kids, I needed a break! So Erick and I headed off to the Renaissance Festival, all by ourselves with some tickets I had won. When we told Becca we were going alone, she said it was only for families and "young people". I explained we had gone before she was born and she said, "Yeah, when you were young." Below are the pictures of some fun things we saw at the Renaissance Festival when we were acting "young".

And to top off the week, Bella has a new look. She had about 5 inches of hair cut off. Too many struggles  with tangles. Swimming has really done a number on her hair. Her hair texture is course and spongelike so it absorbs everything! We tried every expensive swimming shampoo and conditioner out there, including other shampoos for clarifying and yet there were still massive amounts of tangles. I had to fight every day to keep her hair from forming dreads underneath in the back. Was Bella excited? No, not really. But now after about 5 days, she is really happy with her new hair and says she may keep it short.

Having had a lot of focus on the past, I am ready to face the future...

Because I'm Awesome

Woke up this morning to find this wonderful, inspiring piece posted on a friend's Facebook wall. It is from a wonderful blog called Pigtail Pals. Here is the piece entitled Feeling Awesome:

There was a time when you were five years old,

and you woke up full of awesome.

 

You knew you were awesome.

 

You loved yourself.

 

You thought you were beautiful,

even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.

 

You loved your body, and the things it could do.

 

You thought you were strong.

 

You knew you were smart.

  

Do you still have it?

The awesome.

 

Did someone take it from you?

Did you let them?

Did you hand it over, because someone told you weren’t beautiful enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough?

Why the hell would you listen to them?

Did you consider they might be full of shit?

 

Wouldn’t that be nuts, to tell my little girl below that in another five or ten years she might hate herself because she doesn’t look like a starving and Photoshopped fashion model?

Or even more bizarre, that she should be sexy over smart, beautiful over bold?

Are you freaking kidding me?

 

Look at her. She is full of awesome.

 

You were, once. Maybe you still are. Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.

 

All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this about yourself, you are really missing out.

How inspiring is that? I really think in day to day parenting life, it is so easy to get caught up in the things that drive you crazy about your kids. Rushing from activity to activity, I feel more like a cattle driver than a Mom. Today I will make sure that I am helping my kids to feel AWESOME.

The Way We Were...

Is there any better way to appreciate the present, than to reflect on the past? Personally, I don't think so. I guess the kids have been feeling sentimental too as they have been digging into the big abyss of pictures in boxes on my closet floor. Sad that is where they have to go to find the old pictures. Either that or they can pop in a CD in the computer and scroll. Scrapbooking is just not my thing. I have tried, it's just not something I enjoy. I'd rather clean my house than scrapbook and for those of you who know me well, that is a very sad statement...

Here's some of the pictures of the past we have been reviewing.

The past has been on my mind quite a bit lately. Perhaps it is due to my newest obsession, "Mad Men".  I am so happy the series is on Netflix now. I love looking at how people lived in the 60's. The creators of the series are so clever to always put in things in episodes that they know will make people of today say, "Can you believe they did that"? Whether it is children playing in plastic bags and the parents getting mad that they put the dry cleaning on the floor (instead of potential asphyxiation), or having a picnic in a park and cleaning up by folding up the blanket and leaving all the trash on the grass, most episodes leave a feeling at disbelief in how attitudes have changed in the past 40 years.

School starts again Tuesday for Becca and Bella. Harry's school is under construction so he gets an extra 4 days off. Looking at all of the old pictures really puts it in perspective about how fast things change. It seems like just yesterday I was putting Becca on the bus for kindergarten. Now ten years later, she is getting her permit and heading off to be a sophomore at high-school. Yesterday, I was cleaning out Harry's closet and I found all of Harry's old football jerseys. Seems like just yesterday he was in 3rd grade, learning the rules of the game. Now, he is a 5 year veteran, headed into 7th grade with a much deeper voice. And Bella. Oh the baby of the family...Do they really ever grow up? I have long joked that we won't be celebrating any more birthdays for her since I can't handle her being older than nine. And yet, it's not really my choice, is it? Life goes on and changes whether we want it to or not. Regardless of my desires to keep Bella eternally a child, she is entering 4th grade and developing a pre teen attitude. Great... two teens and a preteen, I can hardly wait.

Hey 2011-2012 school year, ready or not, here we come!